McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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