I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
why does every cop we meet know your name?
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
