I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
