why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Randomize
