I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
