i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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