I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
its liver damage thursday
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