I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
