So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
