If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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