You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
