you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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