I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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