I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Can you bring me the toilet please
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
