Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
My pussy is not your playground.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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