The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
