friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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