Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Randomize
