i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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