..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
