I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
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