I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
