sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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