this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
