are you so shy because you have an std?
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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