so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
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you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
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I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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