Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
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