You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
you will always have a special place in my vag
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
