Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize