im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
