The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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