Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
