Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
