mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
