the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
