i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
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