he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
