Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
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