based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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