oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
