Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Randomize
