At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
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