im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
