is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Randomize
