he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
