...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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