Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Randomize
