Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
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