I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
