Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
