i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
