HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
