When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize