we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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