He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
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