that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
