Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize
