3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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