i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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