Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Randomize