If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
