Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
