I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
