Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize