Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
