i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
